hey evan. this is FOR YOUUU!!!
[it's a chez lounge]
absolutely cuckoo
the saddest story ever told
too drunk to dream
i think i need a new heart
why i cry
fear of trains
swinging london
the luckiest guy on the lower east side
famous
i wish i had an evil twin
when my boy walks down the street
smoke signals
i die
yeah! oh, yeah!
all you ever do is walk away
love is like jazz
you and me and the moon
all my little words
the flowers she sent and the flowers she said she sent
love is like a bottle of gin
papa was a rodeo
lovers from the moon
strange powers
california girls (stephen merritt vocal track)
i don't believe you
the book of love
100,000 fireflies
you're welcome <3
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
hot autism
so having a broken spine and a case of full blown cancer i decided to cut off my arms. then i reattached them and did some shit.
Remember the band Bayside? Well I used to get smoker mail from Camel, which I thought was illegal in the state of Massachusetts. How does this relate to Bayside? Well, they were one of the hip bands who were plastered on this mail, endorsing Camel cigarettes like they were boxed chocolates... or Pokemon. I thought it would be funny to make my own carbon cutout hipster scumbag musician in cartoon form. Super Vulture Soundsystem is the name of his shitty band. Don't listen to them.
This is Mario. He's a character that saved Nintendo from the brink of financial collapse. He actually resurrected the video game industry after the released such fucking stupid titles like E.T. and Custer's Revenge (Not "released" per say, but it was probably the first game with boning [in 4-bits no less]) So yeah. Mario has kicked the shit out of every other game mascot in the past twenty five years or some crap. Don't make me do math. Yeah. Who gives a shit about Crash Bandicoot? Banjo-Kazooie? Conker? Donkey Schlong? Sonic? Sure, all listed have had their moment in the sun, but Mario is fucking Mario. He may as well be god because he is infallible. Prove him wrong. I fucking dare you.
This is a guy from some comic book or some shit. He has a movie where some Australian theater fag plays him. He used to beat the bag out of The Hulk and have whiskers. Then Marvel decided he looked like a tool. So they gave him an outfit with black stripes on yellow spandex with royal blue underoos. Then he went brown and red. Then he had a backstory. Then he had his backstory foundation sucked out of him. Then he de-evolved. Then he got his groove [backstory] back and became a villain. He tries to hook up with Jean Grey a lot. He usually fails, unless you count story arcs like Age of Apocalypse. Shit. I never actually formally introduced him by name. His name is Cyclops. HA!
SOoooo I've had a good deal of bullcrap seep from the sewers and into my life as of late. I did this as a manner to cope. I'm doing this actually to stave off cabin fever. But he's essentially a Mystery Man. I know that shouldn't be capitalized, but I was thinking about comics because I just went on about Banshee for the past five minutes. Remember the movie? It had Janine Garofalo in it. There were bowling balls and shit. See it. You'll walk away shaking your head in approval. Oh so he's saying fuck because he doesn't have the intellect to come up with anything better in his predicament. He doesn't like to eat because he's anti-American
These guys will KILL YOU. DEAD. They are worse than Ghengis Khan. Barney's next album drops in a week. He's been doing booty rap for about ten years now. His latest release will be called "I Love You and Your Pee". He's released other albums titled "BJ and his Boner" and "Baby Bop Burger Supreme". Lock up your kids because this ain't no G-Rated hootenanny. Stick Stickley puts children on his show selector, which is really a wheel of death. Children have died from knife wounds, asphixiation, various ruptured organs, sepsis, and dry mouth. Hitler is Hitler. His birthday is 4/20. That's gotta count for something.
Remember 9/11? How could you forget. If you said "no" then fuck you and get out of America. You're a piece of shit, and you're probably retarded and/or gay. Anyway, throw any theory you have out the window. It was this man's fault. He thought of 9/11 and it happened. Don't ask me how, because we'll be here all night discussing wormhole theory and Dr. Hawking and Donnie Darko. Remember when that movie was huge? They made a sequel. Everyone should see it. I'm serious. No I'm not.
Pee on me.
/nihilism
the end. :)
Remember the band Bayside? Well I used to get smoker mail from Camel, which I thought was illegal in the state of Massachusetts. How does this relate to Bayside? Well, they were one of the hip bands who were plastered on this mail, endorsing Camel cigarettes like they were boxed chocolates... or Pokemon. I thought it would be funny to make my own carbon cutout hipster scumbag musician in cartoon form. Super Vulture Soundsystem is the name of his shitty band. Don't listen to them.
This is Mario. He's a character that saved Nintendo from the brink of financial collapse. He actually resurrected the video game industry after the released such fucking stupid titles like E.T. and Custer's Revenge (Not "released" per say, but it was probably the first game with boning [in 4-bits no less]) So yeah. Mario has kicked the shit out of every other game mascot in the past twenty five years or some crap. Don't make me do math. Yeah. Who gives a shit about Crash Bandicoot? Banjo-Kazooie? Conker? Donkey Schlong? Sonic? Sure, all listed have had their moment in the sun, but Mario is fucking Mario. He may as well be god because he is infallible. Prove him wrong. I fucking dare you.
This is a guy from some comic book or some shit. He has a movie where some Australian theater fag plays him. He used to beat the bag out of The Hulk and have whiskers. Then Marvel decided he looked like a tool. So they gave him an outfit with black stripes on yellow spandex with royal blue underoos. Then he went brown and red. Then he had a backstory. Then he had his backstory foundation sucked out of him. Then he de-evolved. Then he got his groove [backstory] back and became a villain. He tries to hook up with Jean Grey a lot. He usually fails, unless you count story arcs like Age of Apocalypse. Shit. I never actually formally introduced him by name. His name is Cyclops. HA!
SOoooo I've had a good deal of bullcrap seep from the sewers and into my life as of late. I did this as a manner to cope. I'm doing this actually to stave off cabin fever. But he's essentially a Mystery Man. I know that shouldn't be capitalized, but I was thinking about comics because I just went on about Banshee for the past five minutes. Remember the movie? It had Janine Garofalo in it. There were bowling balls and shit. See it. You'll walk away shaking your head in approval. Oh so he's saying fuck because he doesn't have the intellect to come up with anything better in his predicament. He doesn't like to eat because he's anti-American
These guys will KILL YOU. DEAD. They are worse than Ghengis Khan. Barney's next album drops in a week. He's been doing booty rap for about ten years now. His latest release will be called "I Love You and Your Pee". He's released other albums titled "BJ and his Boner" and "Baby Bop Burger Supreme". Lock up your kids because this ain't no G-Rated hootenanny. Stick Stickley puts children on his show selector, which is really a wheel of death. Children have died from knife wounds, asphixiation, various ruptured organs, sepsis, and dry mouth. Hitler is Hitler. His birthday is 4/20. That's gotta count for something.
Remember 9/11? How could you forget. If you said "no" then fuck you and get out of America. You're a piece of shit, and you're probably retarded and/or gay. Anyway, throw any theory you have out the window. It was this man's fault. He thought of 9/11 and it happened. Don't ask me how, because we'll be here all night discussing wormhole theory and Dr. Hawking and Donnie Darko. Remember when that movie was huge? They made a sequel. Everyone should see it. I'm serious. No I'm not.Pee on me.
/nihilism
the end. :)
Saturday, January 2, 2010
new year new you
narwhals have a long unicorn like appendage protruding from their face. they arefucking dickheads, yet i still find my self acquainted and loving them. fuck you narwhal.
happy new year. happy motherfucking new year. happy piece of shit fucking new year.
currently listening to: 69 love songs, the glow pt. 2 for good
happy new year.Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
My condolences
Today my cousin Lynn Marie lost her baby boy, who was set to arrive in three weeks. How devastating. My heart goes out to you.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
We The People
If you are privileged to follow Rich @ beachbitchbimbo.blogspot.com/ you'd be aware that our Spider Sense was tingling, and we were close to tracking down Osama Bin Laden. Now, the events recorded by Rich were 110% accurate, however, there was one important detail that he forgot to include.
The night before we were tipped off by an anonymous source. I have struggled keeping this under wraps, however, I feel the truth has to come out. His name is Doctor Rabbit.
We were out on the town drinking various mixed drinks from the Orient when my cell phone began ringing off the hook. I picked it up and a strange voice gave a hint that at 1 PM Bin Laden would be looking for cha cha heels and ski masks at the old Building 19 turned flea market in Lynn, MA. He made note that we shouldn't get distracted by shiny earrings because they're plentiful in this location. It took me a while for this information to register. I had to tell Rich and Amy. They were in shock.
When we were outside smoking cigarettes I remembered a specific quip made by the voice on the other line. He made reference to Plaque Monsters, and how we need to remember to brush our teeth, since Bin Laden has quite the nose that can smell the will of an American Hero on the breath of any trackers.
We skipped town, drunk, and made our way to a Lexis-Nexis database where I searched for "Plaque Monsters". A game came up, and the plot thickened.
I knew I had seen those JNCO flood pants and yellow Keds at some point prior to these events... I remember going on a tour across the world, somehow riding a bicycle to Africa, where local wildlife told me to brush two to three times a day, and to floss often. We observed, but could still not put a name to this face. We knew what must be done.
Being that we had been drinking, eating Lo-Mein, and smoking cigarettes for a majority of the night, it was an established fact that we had our own collection of Plaque Monsters. Rich actually tried to floss in the meantime. If you know Rich, he loves to floss because, according to him, it is like a massage for your gums. Amy and I had to tackle him and bring him to his senses. If we wanted to find out the name of this operative we were going to have to consult as many Plaque Monsters as possible. If the three of us weren't enough we'd have to assault people on the streets and perform an oral smear. The more monsters the better.
We had a throng of them from ourselves, but they wouldn't crack. We went to the Mobile On the Run, and inoculated the gentleman behind the counter, leaving him with a swollen eye, a heroin addiction, and a complimentary chocolate so he could regenerate his stolen Plaque Monsters.
The Plaque Monsters spoke after much Guantanamo Bay influenced secret torture. However, they never spilled the beans completely. They mumbled "Med School", "Maury Povich", "Day time TV for assistant", "Jefferson Airplane", "Alice in Wonderland", "Easter"...
Needless to say, we were thoroughly confused by this. We thought they were simply giving nonsensical answers to throw us off our quest. However, after a few fishbowls and Paris Hilton impersonations it struck us. It simultaneously hit us like lightning. Our minds were consumed in a vacuum that pulled us into it's Hoover brand bag (old vacuum). Somewhere in the lint, cat hair, and baby teeth was the answer.
It was him!
Doctor Rabbit!!!
I can't put my finger on what Doctor Rabbit has to do with 9/11. Rich came to the conclusion that it must be because Bin Laden doesn't promote good oral hygiene, rendering him godless in Doctor Rabbit's eyes. Doctor Rabbit also works close with Lady Fatima, and he must have received a vision from her at this time. Like Nostradamus, Doctor Rabbit prophesied that Osama Bin Laden would be on the North Shore...
We prepared ourselves.
However, we forgot about Daylight Savings, and we didn't spring forward. So aside from Amy's obsession with chunky earrings, we also had a late start.
This is one hundred percent fact. I had a tape, but the CIA removed all traces from my possessions. I hope this gets out. Doctor Rabbit and Lady Fatima would make a formidable team. With our powers combined we can stop Osama Bin Laden. We are true American heroes, and I hope that you, the reader, join our cause. Never forget...
The night before we were tipped off by an anonymous source. I have struggled keeping this under wraps, however, I feel the truth has to come out. His name is Doctor Rabbit.
We were out on the town drinking various mixed drinks from the Orient when my cell phone began ringing off the hook. I picked it up and a strange voice gave a hint that at 1 PM Bin Laden would be looking for cha cha heels and ski masks at the old Building 19 turned flea market in Lynn, MA. He made note that we shouldn't get distracted by shiny earrings because they're plentiful in this location. It took me a while for this information to register. I had to tell Rich and Amy. They were in shock.
When we were outside smoking cigarettes I remembered a specific quip made by the voice on the other line. He made reference to Plaque Monsters, and how we need to remember to brush our teeth, since Bin Laden has quite the nose that can smell the will of an American Hero on the breath of any trackers.
We skipped town, drunk, and made our way to a Lexis-Nexis database where I searched for "Plaque Monsters". A game came up, and the plot thickened.
I knew I had seen those JNCO flood pants and yellow Keds at some point prior to these events... I remember going on a tour across the world, somehow riding a bicycle to Africa, where local wildlife told me to brush two to three times a day, and to floss often. We observed, but could still not put a name to this face. We knew what must be done.
Being that we had been drinking, eating Lo-Mein, and smoking cigarettes for a majority of the night, it was an established fact that we had our own collection of Plaque Monsters. Rich actually tried to floss in the meantime. If you know Rich, he loves to floss because, according to him, it is like a massage for your gums. Amy and I had to tackle him and bring him to his senses. If we wanted to find out the name of this operative we were going to have to consult as many Plaque Monsters as possible. If the three of us weren't enough we'd have to assault people on the streets and perform an oral smear. The more monsters the better.
We had a throng of them from ourselves, but they wouldn't crack. We went to the Mobile On the Run, and inoculated the gentleman behind the counter, leaving him with a swollen eye, a heroin addiction, and a complimentary chocolate so he could regenerate his stolen Plaque Monsters.
The Plaque Monsters spoke after much Guantanamo Bay influenced secret torture. However, they never spilled the beans completely. They mumbled "Med School", "Maury Povich", "Day time TV for assistant", "Jefferson Airplane", "Alice in Wonderland", "Easter"...
Needless to say, we were thoroughly confused by this. We thought they were simply giving nonsensical answers to throw us off our quest. However, after a few fishbowls and Paris Hilton impersonations it struck us. It simultaneously hit us like lightning. Our minds were consumed in a vacuum that pulled us into it's Hoover brand bag (old vacuum). Somewhere in the lint, cat hair, and baby teeth was the answer.
It was him!
Doctor Rabbit!!!
I can't put my finger on what Doctor Rabbit has to do with 9/11. Rich came to the conclusion that it must be because Bin Laden doesn't promote good oral hygiene, rendering him godless in Doctor Rabbit's eyes. Doctor Rabbit also works close with Lady Fatima, and he must have received a vision from her at this time. Like Nostradamus, Doctor Rabbit prophesied that Osama Bin Laden would be on the North Shore...
We prepared ourselves.
However, we forgot about Daylight Savings, and we didn't spring forward. So aside from Amy's obsession with chunky earrings, we also had a late start.
This is one hundred percent fact. I had a tape, but the CIA removed all traces from my possessions. I hope this gets out. Doctor Rabbit and Lady Fatima would make a formidable team. With our powers combined we can stop Osama Bin Laden. We are true American heroes, and I hope that you, the reader, join our cause. Never forget...
Friday, March 6, 2009
I'm going to an open house at CDIA @ BU on Moody St. in Waltham tomorrow.
I'm going to make a doctor's appointment so a) see if I still have health insurance, because I really don't know at this point, and b) so i can potentially right my brain with medication. I understand that there is no reason to feel fucked up about anything, but sometimes I can't escape the feeling. It's not even about anything in specific, really. I just feel really anxious for no apparent reason. When you can no longer identify what grinds your gears, you know you need a little help.
Slow night here. I have a busy morning (for once).
I'm going to make a doctor's appointment so a) see if I still have health insurance, because I really don't know at this point, and b) so i can potentially right my brain with medication. I understand that there is no reason to feel fucked up about anything, but sometimes I can't escape the feeling. It's not even about anything in specific, really. I just feel really anxious for no apparent reason. When you can no longer identify what grinds your gears, you know you need a little help.
Slow night here. I have a busy morning (for once).
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
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